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Things that Men Can do when they are Grieving their Baby

Men grieve differently to women and the loss of their baby, whilst still painfully sad, is slightly different to the Mum. You see, the Mum already felt like she knew the baby and it was part of their lives already, as she had been carrying it and dealing with all the pregnancy symptoms for quite some time. However, for the Dad it is slightly different. He knows the baby is there, but for him it is a loss of something that was going to be part of his life.

Men also feel pressure to be strong and take care of their lady, despite how miserable they feel. This is why you may notice that men will return to normal routine as soon as they can, they mustn't let their feelings get in the way of life, they must keep moving - well so they think.

All grieving parents need to honour their baby in the best that they can, and whilst women will usually know what they need to do and will do it, men are often left feeling isolated and 'stuck'.  Here are some things that men can do to honour their angel baby:

  • Build a keepsake box for all of the memento items to be stored in
  • Build a shelf where the baby's urn or special items can be displayed
  • Build an urn for the baby's ashes
  • build a memorial garden in their yard
  • Write a song about their baby
  • Release a balloon or go in a hot air balloon
  • make paper boats and release them at a favourite fishing spot
  • Make a cake each year on their angel's birthday
  • Write a letter to their angel
  • Carry the Baby's coffin at the funeral
  • Pick a song to play at the funeral
  • Be involved in funeral arrangements
  • Buy a star for their baby
  • Build a bear for their wife in memory of their baby (the husband will treasure it just as much)
  • Raise money for a pregnancy loss  organisation through sausage sizzles, marathons, growing a beard & donate the money in honour of the baby.
  • Donate a book to the school the baby would have attended. Have the book read "in memory of ---"
  • Give yourself permission to cry and be sad.

Just remember to take time out to do nothing. It is OK, you lost your baby and you are more than entitled to be feeling the way you do. Go easy with yourself and don't expect too much from you or your partner.


Are you a grieving parent? Share your story with us by following the links to the 'Contact' Page.


Related topic: "Society Lies: Real Men Don't Cry"





 Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici and