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10 ways to deal with Christmas after Pregnancy Loss

This bauble can be purchased through Angel Gowns AustralliaThis bauble can be purchased through Angel Gowns Australlia

 

When the first Christmas arrives after your baby has passed, it can be extremely difficult. Many Mums and Dads decide not to 'do' Christmas as they struggle to find something to celebrate, whilst others may find comfort in a low-key family. However, the most important thing - no matter how you celebrate - is that your baby is remembered and acknowledged.

Here are 10 ways you may want to deal with Christmas after your baby has passed away. 

1. Stay at home with immediate family (who you live with) and watch Christmas movies together and have a nice meal. 

2. Purchase a present to match your child's age each year and place it under a 'wishing tree' that large department stores usually have set up. 

3. Buy a Christmas ornament each year for your baby to be placed upon the tree. 

4. Ask family and friends to buy a small gift for your baby (for instance: a frame with the baby's photo, Christmas ornament, stocking, figurine etc.)

5. Attend midnight mass on Christmas Eve and light a candle for your baby. You may like to invite close family and friends. 

6. Get a family photo with Santa and hold a relevant teddy bear that is connected to the baby. 

7. Hang a Christmas stocking up and fill it with letters you have written to your baby throughout the year. You could then take the stocking to the cemetery and place the items with them (some people like to burn the letters and sprinkle what is left over the grave). 

8. Visit their grave for a picnic (alternatively, you may like to have a picnic around a memorable garden in your yard or something else that is special to you). You may like to do this on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day or Boxing Day. Decorating the area with Christmas decorations may also help you celebrate. 

9. Light a candle, place a photo frame and leave an empty seat (or maybe high chair) with the baby's name on it. When people see it on Christmas Day you can explain that they do not have to talk about the baby, but simply just smile at the chair where their spirit is sitting, nod their head, blow them a kiss or give them a thought. 

10.  Have the family over to your house and ask everyone to bring a plate of food and spend time celebrating your baby's first Christmas in heaven. They will be with you, looking down and smiling as they are spoiled by all the angels. (If you feel like you will not cope with an extended amount of time with people over your house it may be easier to choose to go to someone else's house. If you do, please don't feel obliged to stay there for a long time - turn up and leave when you are ready). 

There is absolutely no wrong or right way to celebrate Christmas. It is important that you (and your loved ones) recognize that you are grieving and that you will do whatever you are most comfortable with. Don't feel obliged to participate in anything that you do not want to do. It is a very sensitive time and you need to look after you and your partner. 

 

For those who are not wanting to celebrate Christmas and would like a way to let family and friends know, we have written a poem (one for each sex) for you to share via right-clicking on the image and saving the picture.