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"I wish I told myself that"

Advice from experienced IVF women to those starting in the journey

Image supplied by Nenetus & FreeDigitalPhotos.netImage supplied by Nenetus & FreeDigitalPhotos.netFor anyone with any slight knowledge about IVF, they would know that the process is physically and emotionally draining. Many couples will not find success on the first round and end up needing multiple attempts, with one lady reporting she has had 9 rounds with no success and another attempting for the past 10 years.

To support women going through this daunting experience, we have put together a list of things that those more experienced with IVF have said that, if they could go back in time, this is what they would want to tell themselves.


  • The journey is about you as a couple, and even on the worst days still hold your partners hand.
  • It's OK to cry.
  • Keep believing and being positive that this journey to motherhood will happen one way or another, even if IVF isn't successful.
  • Avoid comparing yourself to other's journeys
  • If you don't like your fertility specialist, get a new one!
  • IVF is not a guaranteed process - don't centre your life around it. Find other things to make you smile.
  • Other women will get pregnant easy. It will hurt.
  • Take each day as it comes.
  • You cannot control everything.
  • Ask as many questions as you can. Don't be afraid.
  • If your instincts tell you something is wrong or not working, be assertive
  • Don't waste embryos if you've had multiple fails - gets tests done (and if they refuse, go to another clinic).
  • Breathe!
  • Don't use the IVF cycle to attack your partner. It's a hard process on both of you
  • Make sure you live a healthy lifestyle - exercise and healthy dieting will go along way (both with treatment & your emotional wellbeing).
  • Research, research, research!
  • Don't be afraid to access counselling if it gets too hard.
  • Second opinions can change your mindset.
  • If doing it for PGD and waiting for DNA results (which can take years) - get your eggs retrieved and frozen so they have quality eggs when you are ready.
  • Clinics vary in prices - go and get a free consult from their clinics to talk costs and see how you feel.
  • Don't be scared of the medication and needles - it's mind over matter
  • Don't be afraid to change clinics for whatever reason you like.
  • Start sooner.
  • Don't be afraid to tell your doctor you can only afford one round
  • Find yourself a support group full of other couples going through the same thing.
  • You are not alone.

Where ever this journey takes you, just remember that it is one part of your life. Take comfort that others are on this journey with you and no matter what happens, you have your life and there are always other options.


Good luck